Why I want to have Wes Anderson's babies

I mean, if he wasn’t already dating Juman Malouf, I totally would

There are many reasons as to why I think Wes Anderson is the Jesus of modern day cinema. I reckon I can easily write a 10,000 word essay on how Wes Anderson films are so visually stunning they make me want to lie down and cry for 3 days, but I’ll probably save that for another day.

So as we know, Wes Anderson films aren’t just notorious for their bright colours *cough* The Grand Budapest Hotel *cough*, but they also encompass a quirky sense of order. Things are centered, squared, and balanced. It’s fairly safe to say that symmetry comes naturally to his style. When watching his films, one might notice that every shot resembles an illustrated page of a book. I mean, every scene is perfectly focalised and positioned with such stunning consistency, which probably can only be pulled off by an eminently dexterous superhuman or God himself/herself (I believe in equality).

So this extremely adept asshole employs the coupling of handsomely coloured scenes with an unmistakable emphasis on equilibrium, which stylistically epitomises a real life picture box in the best way possible. Anderson’s inherent love of symmetry is evident in all of his shot compositions. Elements of this can be noted in all of his early films, and this initial obsession has -cut to present- unquestionably flourished into a full-blown mania. I mean, you damn well know that this guy can’t thwart the cold embrace of bilateral prop and character arrangement. In fact, this is fairly apparent in Bottle Rocket and Rushmore, and has progressively become more and more prevalent as Anderson’s inhuman filmmaking prowess blossoms more and more each day. (Can you tell how in love with him I am?)

To illustrate my point, I found a video by filmmaker Kogonada, who put together a supercut of nearly 100 scenes from Anderson’s films, and edited in a dotted line down the middle of the screen to show how Anderson has framed everything symmetrically. You can clearly see how half the shots Anderson uses are roughly symmetrical, and the rest that aren't have a symmetrical central point. I love the balance that he incorporates in every still (i.e. if a character or piece of furniture is on the left, there's another character/piece of furniture on the right) He rarely shoots at an oblique: everything's almost entirely at a 90 or 45-degree angle, which pulls beautifully together stylistically.

And if this isn't reason enough to want to bare a middle aged Texan's child, then I really don't know what is.

-Alysha x