Fries before guys, everyone. 

So I’ve had a couple of blogs on and off for the past three years of my life. Like most of my romantic relationships, they’ve all started out with great promise...only to wither down into a devastating wreck due to lack of commitment. Nice. But don’t worry babe, I’ve changed and I promise this time things will be different. 

My name is Alysha and I’m still pissed about turning 18 because I feel like half my charm was being jailbait. I currently live in London. Not the nice bit, the dodgy bit - think acid attacks.

As a person, I’ve been told that I am nice (by my mum), strong & independent (by BeyoncĂ©) and a “pleasure to have in class” (Mr. Prior, year 9 Geography). 

Okay, so while I may not be the best at introductions (or at anything, really) I am still going to attempt to talk about what I’d like this blog to be:

  • I’m hugely interested in the arts (particularly film and theatre). So expect a crapfest of badly written film reviews & the occasional equally shitty theatre review where I'll throw in phrases like 'influenced by artaud' or 'the staging communicated ideas of power and the patriarchy' because a-level Drama was the only subject I actually got an A* in so I want to ride off that  for as long as possible.    
  • I’m a big Tolkien fan & live for badly directed horror films. So if you're in the mood to watch an oversexualised chick run away from her attacker in a 'you'll-probably-kill-me-in-a-horrifically-brutalised-manner-but-hey-at-least-my-boobs-look-great-in-this-shot' kinda way, I can give out plenty of suggestions.
  • Dog reviews. Where I review dogs. (spoiler alert: they're all 11/10)
  • Travel stuff. I like travelling. And making little travel films for the places I've been to.
  • That's it. That's literally all there is to me. Pretty one-dimensional, I know. But on the bright side, I'd make the perfect manic pixie dream girl. 

I think I’ve covered just about everything there is. Let’s just see where this goes. I was originally planning to get my own domain, but it costs money and I’m not a millionaire (though I personally think I’d be phenomenal at being one). And if you've read all the way up to here, thanks for putting up with all of my ramblings. Anyways, in honour of all the sex-ed classes my school made me take at 13, I'm gonna wrap it up.

 Here’s to hoping that this works out.