What I take away from all of this

Remember warm weather and that particularly long road trip to Jennie’s beach house? We were all cooped up in the back of my Chrysler watching Silence of the Lambs, making jokes to take away from the seriousness and suspense of the film. It was bright that day, sun beams flickering through the window and sunshine spilt out all around us. We were all smiles and laughs and "oh don't go down in that basement alone you stupid bitch!" and I'd hate to remember it any other way.

Or perhaps you might remember going to Rockwell’s cinema together every Friday back in year 9. I think we called it our “Friday Night Tradition” or something. 

I’ve always liked the idea behind Cinemas. A group of people sitting in a room, laughing and crying at a movie together. 

The comfort of strangers. 

And to this day, the smell of freshly buttered popcorn and overpriced coke is still my favourite. Because it reminds me of the time we had to lie about my age so that I could be allowed in to watch American Virgin, and that time Helena had to buy new shorts because she saw someone from our school (I still don’t get it). And let’s not forget that time we watched the Last Exorcism only to realise what a horrible mistake we’ve made 4 minutes into the movie.

But really, because it reminds me of all of us, together, and how we just started out as a bunch of strangers.

Thanks for giving me so much to remember. 

Flashing lights and loud music.

My friends and I recently went to a bigfish event & I'm quite impressed that I managed to actually take some decent shots of the night. *Pats self on back* The effects on the photos came out pretty cool as well, if I do say so myself. I only needed to edit them a bit.  

Contemplating on getting these developed. 

On a side note, it was such a fun night. Well, the parts I remember were fun anyway. 

-alysha.

Snow Patrol Photo Diary

In short, this is what happened. Kinda:

So, I get a message from my friend saying, "Come to the Snow Patrol concert"
And I say, "No,"
And he says, "Such a killjoy. Why not?"
And I say, "I'm broke,"
And then, the next morning, I get a message saying,

"I got you a ticket. Oh, and I'm on my way to pick you up,"

Ok, so I may have shortened the story to make it seem more dramatic...

 Back when I had red hair.

I really did have fun with both my friends. Except, I now owe one of them 5000. He said I don't have to pay him back, but, I mean, c'mon.

(hehe i love you brandt)
-alysha

I really should be studying.

So recently, I have been experimenting with black and white photography, which I never really used to like. I don’t know, I guess I just want to try out something new. Here are some of the pictures I have taken.

Anyway, my friend Maxine found out about this blog a few days back. (She found it by googling my name, which isn’t at all creepy) And I was trying to keep this site a secret! So thanks Maxine. Thanks a lot.  

I can't write much now because I have a psychology and chemistry test tomorrow. As you can see, I've made great use of my time by writing out this post! 

love, and love again,

alysha

Future

So I have been very busy with school lately. Apart from the colossal amount of schoolwork and projects, I went crazy and signed up for 3 extra-curriculars, not counting Drama. Lets just say it’s all very hectic for me right now.

So anyways, today in art, me and my friend Kathy were talking about our future. About what we wanted to do. Who we wanted to be. Where we wanted to go. It was all good fun, planning out the rest of our lives at the back of our sunlit art room, where we have this huge table all to ourselves. I was talking to her about a Drama school that I wanted to attend and what I was taking for my A-Levels. And she was talking to me about her animation course and the university she was going to next year. 

We're both 15. And we are so sure about what we want to do. But at the same time, we aren't. And that is what confuses me so much. There are too many things that we don't know about ourselves, too many things that are left undecided. And yet, we are all still expected to step out of our nests and grow up. Its all just happening too fast for me. 

Because, secretly, I don't want to go to University or New York. And I don't to take my A-levels. And I don't want to take film acting and photojournalism. I just want to stay in the present, and never leave. The future is foggy and hazy. Everything is so ambiguous, so unknown. Whereas in the present, I am sitting on a table overlooking my garden. When I look out, I see the bright summer's sun, sending beams of light that flicker and bounce off the roof of my neighbour's house. There are birds chirping away cheerfully. And both my dogs are outside, resting away by the shade. Their eyes are full of sleep as they lightly doze off. 

I hope you can understand why this is so hard and confusing. Right now, I live in the Philippines. Everything is warm and wonderful, which is why it is so difficult to leave. I don't know what will happen in 5 years time. Whether I'll be in University or working as an actor or homeless. I want to know, but I'll never be able to find out unless I actually live through the next five years (which is what I see now as 'the future'). And that's the scary part. 

But at the same time, I am so so excited. 

All I know is.

I'm going to make the most out of my life. 

I'm going to be an actor.

I'm going to help people to the best of my ability.

I'm going to make a positive impact.

I'm going to accomplish amazing things. 

I'm going to be happy.

Hopefully this all makes sense. Because I don't even know anymore. 

love, 

alysha

Scotland, and I'm not dead. Yet.

I had spent the previous summer in Scotland. It is seriously one of the most beautiful places in the world. I probably wouldn't be able to live there though. Its freezing, even during the summer! Anyway, I hope you all enjoy the pictures. These were taken before I got really into photography. I only edited two of them, the rest are all 'naturals'.

I'm not going to write a lot or explain anything, because I want the pictures to speak for themselves. Hopefully, they will.

And I'm sorry I haven't been posting a lot lately. School has just started, and I'm doing my GCSE's this year, which is very important. I want to do well. Althought I'm not quite sure what good doing well would bring. But when I find out, I'll be sure to let you all know.

Love, and love again.
alysha.

Malaysia

Hello everyone! I just came back from Malaysia earlier today. I figured I'd better post the pictures here before my lazy side gets the better of me.

   I told my brother to look annoyed and angry. He ended up looking somewhat sad instead.

Strangers.

A random street.

Amusement park ride. I quite like the vibrant colors.

Genting Highlands.

That one ride I was too afraid to try.

The view from my aunt's apartment.

The devil stare.

 My crazy little cousin. Although we don't even look related (I look nothing chinese)

The streets of Penang. Having a heated argument with my brother whilst enjoying the sunset.

 Another beautiful sunset.

My fingers.

Me dancing in a dark room.

Malaysia is where I grew up, hence making this trip quite the stroll down memory lane. For the first few days, I was plastered to the window of the car, going, "Oh, I remember that restaurant!" and "I remember when I used to pass this street everyday!" It felt good to fall back into the familiar sights and sounds of my country. It was like finally being able to fall asleep back in your own bed after a long holiday somewhere. Sometimes (mostly when I'm eating the local food), I'd wonder why I was so happy when I left 3 years ago. There were so many things I missed!

 But in my melancholy haze, full of nostalgia and childhood memories, something was wrong. Not everything was as it was. Things had changed while I was gone. Suddenly, I could no longer walk confidently in the streets anymore. I started to feel a little lost. Even when I was younger, I used to feel a bit like a tourist in my own country. Now, I felt it more than ever. I went back to my old house which I grew up in. It didn't feel like home any more. Home wasn't the cottage-like house, crumbling and breaking apart bit by bit. Old paint fading away into the walls, vines and creepers clasping onto the roof. That wasn't home. Home was the modern suburban house with a well manicured lawn, large trees, and a pool in the backyard. My old house looked a bit like a shed, it did not gleam of life like it used to. It was being neglected.

That got me upset for a bit. I realized how much things had changed. Some for the better, some for the worse. But deep down inside, I knew the change would come. There was no denying it.

The during the final days of my visit, I grew weary. I felt pretty content when I finally took the taxi back to the airport at 3am. My flight was slightly delayed, but I couldn't care less. When I finally reached home, I fell into a hot bath with a cup of hot chocolate, and my favorite book. I later decided to have a look through the pictures I took (there weren't that many), and before I knew it, I was typing out the content of this post.

So there we are.

Much love,
Alysha.